Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
