i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
