who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she smelled like a LAN party
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
