I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
