Your tits are I can't wait for
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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