Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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