You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
