marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
