Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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