I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize