have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
