It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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