i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Small penises have feelings too.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
