the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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