Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
