just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drunk is a universal language darling
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
