My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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