the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
