Me too!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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