There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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