did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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