fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
