Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to sanitize my soul.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
