Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
