Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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