TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
