Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the day after is always just damage control
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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