God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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