i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize