the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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