ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
