When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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