Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
