Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize