it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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