Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
