Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
