Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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