the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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