I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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