i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
