You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize