no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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