Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
