physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
