every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
