you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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