I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize