I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
