Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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