we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
