I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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