yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
