you win again, gameday.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
