I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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