When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
