Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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