She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
