Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize