Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize