I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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