I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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