This girl is more easily done than said...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
