His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize