Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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