I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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