Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
