What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize