i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there was a trapeze. enough said
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
