hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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