but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize