Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
