FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
