i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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