I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
