Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
