My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
